Hurt
by tootapanga 1
Summary: sam's hurt,in a rather embarrasing way, and the team moves in to help her. vala has fun playing matchmaker. and the team gets stuch watching TV shows all week. please read and review
1. prolouge hurt

PROLOUGE

Sam lie motionless on the couch, resting her head on a cushion, her hand covering her eyes, somewhere in the kitchen she could hear someone pottering around, she wasn t sure who it was, they were making allot of noise, so it wouldn t been Teal c he was so particular about everything, and Daniel crept silently like any noise would kill Sam. Cam had been over earlier, so that only left Vala or jack. She looked at the time on the video machine, it was almost three o clock, she reached for her glass of water, she winced as she stretched and decided to sink back into her seat instead.

Everyone had been really good since her injury, she felt so stupid, as everyone waited on her, hand and foot. Although the way she had been injured made her feel even more ridiculous than the combined effort of her teams delicate rosters and the extravagant care they provided.

Sam, Cameron, Daniel and Vala had been walking along a ridge on p3x-546. Teal'c hadn't accompanied them, as he was spending time helping Brata'c reconvene with the Jaffa high council, she had been laughing at a joke cam had been telling and ended up losing her footing and fell almost 300 meters down the extremely steep rugged hill side, acquiring herself various cuts and bruises, from the sharp rocks and ended up landing on a branch that pierced through her abdomen, as well as a broken leg, arm and collarbone along with an accompanying concussion. and of course as soon as they arrived through the gate general O'Neill thought they d encountered a hostile alien race, her embarrassment was only amplified as she heard Vala explaining what had happened to her.

And since she had spent three days in the infirmary, awakening , constantly to general O'Neill eating jello or Daniel reading some archaeological book, she was more than glad to be home, cam and Teal'c had brought her home yesterday evening, Teal'c leaving reasonably quickly, and Daniel arrived with Chinese for dinner along with a roster he had drawn up, so that someone would be there every hour of the day for the next eight weeks of the recovery period. jack and cam stayed the night in the guest room.

Jack had got up at 5am to cook a full English breakfast, insisting that Sam eat properly, before he left for the early shift at the SGC. Cam had spent the morning setting up his play station, and explaining to her which button did what, and trying to prop her up so she could hold a controller, before resigning to letting her just watch as he played. Teal'c then relieved cam who had thrown the controllers over by the TV, pinched one of the doughnuts, and left for his shift.

Teal'c then proceeded in feeding her a bakery lunch and watching the first two of the star wars movies, only to be interrupted by Carolyn who made a house call not long after lunch to check on her and give her a pain killers booster and check the swelling in her left leg, Teal'c had continued the movie, at witch point Sam had fallen asleep a little groggy from the drugs, and now she had awoken. Leaving her here at this moment.

She looked around the room and noticing the black leather handbag with something pink and fluffy poking out she figured it must ve been Vala in the kitchen. She sighed softly wondering what exiting toy Vala had brought


	2. Chapter 1 moving in

and how they all managed to get her key.

CHAPTER 1

Sam tried again for her drink of water, only just reaching the edge with her fingertips the glass fell onto the wooden floorboards, Vala poked her head around the corner of the kitchen door.  
'hey Sam, how ya feeling there darling?' she asked cheerfully

'great' Sam moaned

'oh no, ill get you another one' Vala pranced over to her glass wiping the water up with the towel and quickly returning with a fresh glass.

'so, oh my goodness, I have this, well quiet brilliant movie for us to watch' Vala began

'more movies?' Sam asked as she tried to move her leg as Vala had sat almost on it.

'yes Carolyn said you cant move allot so, I got busy' Vala explained

'busy?' Sam asked sceptically

'yes, so I went down to the local video shop, and I was looking for some movies, I also went to the library, but that s not important, so I went to the video shop and there I was in the romance section, and Daniel called me and, I said I was standing in the romance section, and Daniel s like what, the romance section and I m like yes Daniel, the romance section, and he s like 'what are you doing in the romance section?' and I m like I m getting movies, for Sam and I this afternoon, and he s like 'in the romance section?' and I m like yes Daniel, the romance section. Anyway I was still sucking on my cherry lolly pop, it was really nice, oh that reminds me, I went and got you some, do you like cherry?' Vala paused and Sam nodded.

'ok so anyway Daniel then told me that you wouldn t like movies from the romance section, but I couldn t help myself I just had to get this movie called P.S. I love you only because they guy on the cover is positively dashing, don t you think?'

Vala held up the cover, and Sam smiled warily.

'anyway, but don t be mad, coz when I hung up from Daniel, oh he told me get comedy or sciencey stuff, but I don t like that stuff, so I got comedy/drama, and I was smart enough to think ahead, and I got us a series, coz I thought that would keep us entertained for a longer period, and so, oh he s cute' Vala interjected as she opened the cover looking at the pictures on the discs,

'what is it?' Sam asked, secretly dreading the answer,

'oh Gilmore girls' Vala smiled as she put the first disc in the video player

'Gilmore girls?' Sam questioned

'oh yeah, well you know its not something I'd usually borrow, but as I was saying I got of the phone, you know Daniel called me four times this morning, I mean he used the excuse that s its about organizing tonite, but four times, I think he likes my voice, and of course I can listen to his angelic voice all the tim ..'

'tonight?' Sam interjected

'yeah dinner, anyway, so this girl heard me talking, she had a really cool haircut, nice black hair, should I get my hair cut? No I don t think so, anyway, she told me that this was a really good series, actually, I soo wanted her top, she was wearing these nice jeans and this black and grey stripy shirt, I should ve asked where she got it, anyway, she was saying that she and her friend liked it so much that they bought it, although, that s not saying a lot I don t know what sort of taste she has, I could hear the music on her I-pod, it was positively disgusting, I think she saw me screw up my face, and then she told me it its awesome, she s like the best country person in the world,' Vala mocked her.

'and I'm like okaayy whatever, and she s like oh yeah her names like Reba McEntire, and I m like who's name, and she's like the girl that I'm listening to, oh she had this really weird southerner accent, anyway so I picked it up and she s like yeah trust me, get it, its extremely entertaining, its fast talking drama, with occasional romance and always a laugh, and you know after she said that, I was sold, so I took it to the counter and the girl there said it was good too, and so I got it'

'great' Sam smiled dryly,

'what?' Vala asked sceptically

'no, it sounds great, I cant wait' Sam tried to sound enthusiastic

'ok great, I m gonna be back in a minute I have snacks' she called over her shoulder, as she headed to the kitchen.

Sam settled back and rolled her eyes, sometimes Vala was over the top, but at least she was entertaining. Vala quickly returned with a massive tray of chips chocolate, strawberries, cherry s, marshmallows, and various other junk foods, pressing play, she slumped on the floor, and stuffed a peanut butter covered Oreo into her mouth.  
'wha?' she asked gluggely as she caught Sam wrinkling her nose

'yuk' Sam smiled

'yum!, ooh she s pretty' she added as the theme song played.

The hours passed rather quickly, she was surprised that she actually didn t mind this new show that Vala ad brought although she was getting restless, Vala got up to replenish their lolly pops, Sam reached for the remote and paused it, she giggled as she saw Vala trying to copy the dance that the girl on the theme song did.

Suddenly she heard a knock on the door.

'come in' Vala yelled from the kitchen.

The door opened and Daniel Teal'c closely followed by cam and jack stepped through, they all seemed to be carrying their own bags.  
'hey' Sam smiled.

'hey, how you feeling?' Daniel asked as he dropped his bag by the door,

'yeah ok' Sam smiled widely

'hey' jack smiled and raised his eyebrows, as he continued through the house.

Sam sat a little straighter as she watched him curiously, cam chuckled and followed jack.

'where .. where are they going?' Sam asked nervously.

'oh, were, uhh, were umm Vala' Daniel gestured to Vala as he continued through the house.

'umm, I ll get dinner ready... Teal'c' Vala took the bag of groceries from Teal'c's hand and ran back to the kitchen.'

'we are moving in' Teal'c nodded in a formal gesture.

'what all of you?' Sam questioned.

'yes' he passed the lounge and followed down the hall with the others,

'guys, guys! was no one going to talk to about this?' Sam called,

'it appears you have no choice in the matter' Teal'c's voice echoed back down the hall.

'but.. what if I don t want you here?' she replied sinking into the couch, knowing there was no chance of her winning well that s too bad jack whispered in her ear, she jumped a little startled by his presence.

'What about peace and quiet, how am I meant to get that with five of you here?' she questioned looking at him with sad eyes pouting.

'well between all of our shifts we wont be here often, and you need twenty four hour care according to DR. Lam.' he explained as he slumped in the arm chair beside her.

'no I don't' she huffed,

he looked at her and burst into laughter as the others entered the room. She was quiet a site with her leg and arm in plaster, a sling, a bandage on her head and small bandaids scattered over her arms, accompanied with a couple of stitched here and there.

'hey Sam my rooms got stuff in it' cam said worriedly as he leant against the door.

'yeah, I was meant to take it to good will she smiled shyly oh, ok well we can drop it of tomorrow, we all took a personal day' he explained.  
great she smiled.

Sam acted annoyed but secretly she was glad to have such good friends, without them she wouldn t know what to do, she was completely helpless,

They ate their tea and sat around talking about the good ol days. But it didn t take long for Sam to get sleepy and drift off on the couch, everyone went and set up their rooms, Sam had two spare rooms so Teal c and cam took one, sleeping in blue bunk beds, that Sam had bought, for when her niece and nephew came to stay. Jack and Daniel took the other, they argued for a while over who got the floor, there wasn t even a question on wether they d share the double bed, Vala giggled as she wiped the dishes, cam imitated them well, pulling faces in all the right places, eventually they flipped a coin and jack ended up with the blow up bed on the floor. Vala settled for the couch until they could organize a bed in Sam's room for her.

Jack had planned to get a bunch of stuff tomorrow since he discovered that Sam didn t keep bottles of beer in the fridge, he almost organized a emergency trip, but decided it could wait. They headed of for their showers and changed into their night wear. Jack contemplated leaving Sam asleep on the couch, she looked so peaceful, but decided she d sleep better in a bed. He enlisted Teal'c's help to carry her to bed, he followed closely behind, as she groggily protested, she saw the smug look of one colonel jack O Neill over the back of Teal c s shoulder, and realised she was objecting in vein.

He rested her on the bed, Daniel had already pulled the covers back, and jack sat beside her awaiting the entry of the others, he gently lifted her arm sleeve and gave her a pain killer injection. Eventually everyone had piled into the room, Vala entered last as she bounced on the bed somewhere near the end of jacks legs, She held up a little pink gift bag as she smiled cheekily.

Vala handed the bag to Sam who gratefully took it with her good arm, she grinned warily as she reached in,

she found first, a small bag of macaroons, she smiled and cam grinned back,

second she pulled out a pack of metallic pens,

'we wanted to sign you cast' Vala whispered ecstatically.

Sam chucked the pink texta to Vala who immediately started writing on her leg.

They also had stored a small book light in the bag,

'that was my idea' Daniel added proudly

'I love it' Sam said reaching for the book in her bedside table.

cam handed it to her as jack had occupied her arm with his own doodles and signatures on the cast.

Next she pulled out a bell, that she immediately tinkered well

'I thought you'd need a calling device' jack smiled

'my voice isn't broken' she laughed

'pretend you're a princess' he added

She smiled and he moved down to sign her leg right beside were Daniel was still drawing his very detailed picture of a goa'uld wrapped around a pole hey that's good jack commended his friend.

Sam reached in the bag for the last thing, she pulled out a plastic spoon holding it up she laughed and stared at it inquisitively

'am I missing the joke?' she eventually questioned.

'whenever I become ill, general jack brings me jello,' Teal'c began The inquiring looks continued.

'he always keeps the spoon, hoping I wont eat it, when I complete my meal he pulls the spoon from his pocket and eats my jello, I wanted to ensure that you could complete you jello yourself.' teal'c smiled widely

'what?' jack asked as he received a room full of disapproving looks.

Eventually Vala kicked everyone out the room, she had particular trouble moving Daniel who was reading Sam his notes on the latest alien device, after getting him moving, jack proved to be another mission all together, he d fallen asleep on the bed stealing most of the pillows, after Vala woke him, both her and Sam had trouble trying to convince him that she was ok to sleep alone, eventually tho, he was out the room and the door was closed.

Vala had trouble trying to pull Sam s shirt of, her pants were easier, and eventually she got a silk summer nightie over Sam s arms and pulled her quilts up, as Vala opened the door to leave, jack had returned with a glass of water for the bedside table and he rechecked that the pillows were organized so that she would be comfortable, Vala quickly ushered him out of the room, smiling to herself she went and set up for the night on the lounge.


	3. Chapter 2 shopping

Chapter 2

Daniel awoke clinging to the edge of the bed, he began to roll over but someone had laid behind him, their arm wrapped firmly around his waist. He looked down, it was Vala's hand.

'hey Vala' with no response he nudged again

'hey Vala…VALA' he growled

'mmm Daniel?' she whispered groggily.

'what are you doing?" he asked, his body still tense.

'sleeping…was sleeping' she muffled her voice as she pushed her face in between the back of his shoulder blades.

'in my bed?' he accused.

'oh Daniel, leave me alone, I need my beauty sleep' she huffed rolling over snatching a quilt with her.

Daniel shivered with the sudden loss of warmth as he sat looking annoyed down at vala, he watched her body wrap lazily around a pillow, and smiled, loosing any resentful attitude he may have had. He reached to pull the hair from her face.

'Daniel! What the hell?' jack asked groggily as he sat up suddenly. Jack wiped his eyes before glaring at Daniel.

'I umm, she uhh…um' clearing his throat Daniel flashed a shy smile and climbed out of bed, collecting his clothes and heading for the shower.

'strange' jack huffed as he fell back to his pillow throwing his arm over his face. Suddenly he remembered where he was and why he was there.

'Sam' she had been seriously injured, he dived to his feet, feeling a little dizzy at the sudden movement, he gripped the doorframe stabilizing himself as he shook his head, before continuing to Sam's room.

The door was already cracked open a little, he silently stepped through, wincing as it creaked.

The heavy curtains filtered out all light that may of escaped through the window, and with the door closed over the only light was coming from the small book light, shining on Sam's upper torso and face.

She slept blissfully as her arm rested across her chest, still holding her book. Jack tilted his head as he looked at the bruises darkening her skin. The casts on her body. Then something else got his attention…..

His breath caught in his throat, was that a heart he saw now encircling his name? he stepped forward hovering above her, for a closer look.

'Samantha's health is satisfactory' Teal'c's voice echoed from behind him.

'Teal'c' he jumped in a loud whisper as he turned to the wall.

'geez, are you trying to give me a heart attack?' he moaned.

'it was not my intention' Teal'c replied quietly.

Jack turned toward the wall waving his arms in front of him dramatically emphasizing the darkness, until he finally hit Teal'c's chest, patting his shoulder apologetically he stood beside Teal'c.

'soo, buddy how long you been here?' jack asked absentmindedly as he rocked on his heels.

'much of the night….I shall take my leave' he answered impassively,as he headed for the door.

Pausing before stepping through, he paused 'you are indeed an amoral friend' tealc nodded.

'bacatcha' jack quipped.

Teal'c quipped Teal'c left the room and jack headed towards sam again.

'hmm' he chuckled quietly. He'd have to check that out later.

'breakfast everyone' cam called, placing the last of the eggs on the pre-buttered toast.

Jack moved to Sam, smiling as he wiped her fringe out of her eyes.

'hey carter, wakey-wakey'

'mm, sir?' she questioned groggily.

'hey how ya feelin?'

A little worse for wear' she sighed.

'ok then?

Sam smiled lamely 'all the better for seeing you' h her voice reeked with sarcasym.

'tealc' jack called from over his shoulder.

Sam rolled her eyes, and reached for the bell, ringing it.

'ahh, see I told you it'd come in handy' he grinned

'how may I be of assistance?' teal'c questioned as he entered the room.

'uhh, Sam needs help' jack nodded towards her/

Without hesitation teal'c scooped Sam into his arms, carrying her until, he reached the lounge chair. Gently depositing her there, he stepped side, allowing Daniel to hand Sam her breakfast.

Sam smiled at her plate, the food already cut into bite sized pieces.

The morning passed rather quickly until cam finally decided to get the shopping trip started. Cam had just finished the list when vala emerged from the bedroom in pink shorts and a matching tank top. She encouraged jack who had planned to stay, to accompany the others, and reluctantly agreed at the mention of Gilmore girls.

Daniel trudged through the house, carrying the bags intended for good will, while cam finished re-checking the list at the urging of vala who insisted on not only a new quilt but a quilt cover too.

Teal'c nodded as vala double checked that he would remind the others of her quilt. He put his black cowboy hat back on. Checking that it was pulled over his forehead, smiling slightly as he watched jack rearrange Sam's pillows before finally deciding that she was comfortable. Sam sighed as the boys disappeared out the door and vala pressed play.

'ok what's first kids?" cam smiled as he headed for the drivers seat.

'oh man!…right that's it' jack moaned as he snatched the keys.

;what!' cam shrugged.

'Mitchell, I'm 25 years older than you, I've lead this team since you were still sitting, in high school poppin' zits, I'm not you kid' jack complained.

'but..' cam tried snatching for the keys.

'uh-uh' jack wagged his finger as he climbed into the drivers seat.

'its my car!' cam complained.

'get in the car' jack demanded.

Cam looked at Daniel who shrugged, flashing a smile as he climbed in.

'that's an order Mitchell' jack smiled almost playfully.

''I advise you to obey general O'Neill' teal'c said turning to look at him through the back window, a small hint of a smile playing on the corners of his lips.

Reluctantly cam hopped in the back seat of his own SUV, obediently pouting like a child.

'right, ready to go? Jack quipped.

'yes dad' cam groaned sarcastically'

Daniel responded with a hearty chuckle as they pulled out of the drive.

Most of the trip was in silence, only interrupted by the radio and jacks occasional road rage muttered under his breath.

Finally jack found a park, and every four of them piled out of the car.

In the time it took jack to move to the back of the SUV for the good will bags and return, cam and teal'c had already begun an argument over witch shop to begin their little expedition in.

Jack shook his head as Daniel began mediating , he spotted one of those unholy blue goodwill bins, and headed towards it. Arriving at it, he sized up the whole and noticed that the bags were much bigger than the slot provided for them to fit through, he sat one of the bags on the ground, as he began stuffing the other through the hole.

'oh-oh; he mumbled to no one in particular as he realized it was stuck.

'damn it' he cursed as he bashed it through the hole , finally it squeezed through and he smiled at his small victory.

He lent down, picking up the next bag , restarting the procedure with the second bag.

'oh-no!'' he heard the bag tear. He desperately tried to catch the overflowing contents, helpless to catch them all he shoved what he could of the bag in, before clambering on to the ground and packing the loose clothing through the gap provided.

'jack!' cam snorted

'yeah?' he snapped, stopping mid-action, a hand full of clothing.

'sams clothes?" cam laughed, fighting for controll hoping not to break into the relm of hysterics.

'yeah, so' jack countered seriously

'oh vala, would so get a kick out of this' he exclaimed.

'what!' jack snapped.

Daniel had now Brocken out in laughter, but hid it well, he discreetly pointed to jacks hands, clearing his through.

Jack looked at his hands and instantly turned beetroot red.

Quickly stuffing the bra he was holding along with the various langarie items into the bin..

'oops' he grinned nervously, he'd been so frustrated before, that he hadn't noticed the contents. And now he felt rather embarrassed but he hid it behind a thoughtless shrug.

'your so not living this down' cam laughed uncontrollably.

'shut up and help me will ya?' jack snapped.

'caught playing with sam carters underwear' cam was now stomping his foot and holding his stomach as he leaned on tealc for support.

'Mitchell' jack warned as cam continued his hysterical laughter. Jack looked to the others for support, Daniel stood arms crossed, holding in a slight chuckle and teal'c raised one eyebrow, composing himself well, only the smallest smile on his lips. As he looked down to cam.

'I believe O'Neill doesn't find this amusing' he stated seriously.

Cam cleared his throat and stood, after a moment, receiving a scolding look from his friends, before he silently followed jacks lead.

It didn't seem to take long to find a fold up bed for vala. Daniel carried the box back to the car with the occasional help from cam.

Next they went grocery shopping, and as cam and teal'c stocked up on junk food, jack and Daniel ensured that they had all the important things. Fruit, vegetables, meat and beer.

'honey I'm home' cam sang as he opened the front door. He sailed on through the kitchen with the bags of shopping.

Jack followed him, pausing briefly to admire the sight.

Sam was still asleep, sprawled across the lounge, the popcorn balancing on her torso, her hair tussled.

He also vaguely noticed that vala had also fallen asleep, sitting on the ground, her head hung back, now cradled on Sam's lap.

theres more coming but please read and review


	4. Chapter 3 arguments

'The guy cheated on her,' cam argued.

It had been a few days, and somehow the group had been roped into watching Gilmore girls, they were already up to season three.

'He didn't cheat on her' jack called from the kitchen.

'No he cheated on the first girlfriend' Daniel explained.

'Yeah but lorelai knew that he was with her.' Cam argued

'So what she deserved it?' Sam asked sounding annoyed

'No that's not what I'm saying'

'Are you siding with Richard and Emily' Vala asked as she twirled her gum around her finger

'No I'm just saying, that Chris promised.'

What's in a promise?' Vala asked innocently

'Look Rory's right if he said he would stay he should.' Jack contorted as he sat back on the couch

'Loyalty is an admirable quality' Teal'c noted

'So what he's meant to forget about the girlfriend?' Daniel asked

'And we want his to nick off so that lorelai can have Luke.' Sam laughed

'This isn't about Luke.' Daniel argued

'Oh poor Luke' Sam whined

'I think it's all about Luke.' Vala objected

'No it's about Chris breaking a promise.' Daniel answered

'I think it's all a little dramatic.' Teal'c interjected

'Hey' Sam threw popcorn at Teal'c in mock disgust

'It's ok we love dramatics.' Cam teased

'It provides good entertainment' jack toasted with his coffee

'Well I think Richard and Emily are right, you start something you finish it' cam insisted

'It's out of lorelai's control.' Jack disagrees

'Well if she hadn't stolen another woman's guy.' Sam protested

'Huh she didn't.' Vala argued

'No he should stick around for once.' Jack noted

'Oh you just like Rory.' Cam hissed

'No I don't' jack contorted

'You always side with Rory' cam insisted

'Her first priority should be with his child' Daniel argued

'Rory is his child' Sam added

'Yeah but she's an adult, he has a baby now' cam added

'It doesn't matter how old your kid is' jack snapped

'But he's never been there for Rory' Sam agreed

'So what he shouldn't start' Daniel now swapped his argument?

'That's not what I'm saying,' Sam looked offended

'Lorelai's got Luke' Vala added

'And Stella needs a husband' Sam pointed out

'The baby needs a father' Daniel returned to his original argument

'Yeah we've completely forgot about Stella.' Jack thought aloud

'Wait whose Stella' cam asked

'I don't know whose Stella' Vala looked a little more than confused

'Yeah?' jack was also lost

'Chris' girlfriend' Daniel stated quiet obviously distracted

'Her names not Stella' Vala argued

'Then what is it?' Daniel challenged

'I don't know 'Vala smiled innocently

'Ok so we'll just call her Stella' Daniel agreed

Cam now zoned back into their side conversation. 'Who's Stella?'

'Chris girlfriend' Vala commented

'No its not' he protested

'I believe her name is sherry' Teal'c clarified

'Yeah its sherry' Vala agreed

'So where does sherry fit into this?' Cam asked

'I think he should go back to sherry' Daniel answered

'I think he should stay with Lorelai's' jack stated

'But Luke's with Lorelai's' Vala interjected

'Not yet' cam answered

'But he will be' Sam noted

'He should provide a stable role model for Rory' Teal'c commented

'Agreed.' Daniel nodded

The argument seemed to be settled and so they turned back to watch the TV

'So were on Lorelai's side...' jack muttered aloud, trying to get it straight in his own head

'Yes' Sam agreed

'Yes' Teal'c noted forcefully

'Yeahp' Daniel agreed

'Hang on I still don't get who Stella is?' Vala shook her head

'Vala' Daniel scolded her

'What?'

'It's not Stella her names sherry' Sam explained

'Oh ok then I suppose I'm with lorelai' Vala agreed

'Not exclusively.' Jack added

'Jack.' The five of them scolded him.

'ok were obsessed' cam concluded'

'With what?' Vala reluctantly tore her eyes from the TV screen

We haven't done anything for almost a week but sit here and watch Gilmore girls, its pathetic' he explained

'u-huh' Vala agreed turning her attention back to the screen.

'Ok, cams right, were watching a stupid move, when the universe probly needs saving' Daniel agreed

'I believe the SGC would've informed us if that had been the case' Teal'c argued as his eyes kept glued to the screen.

'Not the point' Daniel countered as he stood from his spot on the floor.

'Shhh' Vala hissed

Daniel looked around the room, it really was pathetic, and the attention they paid to a TV show.

'That's it, its going off or at least a day' Daniel decided

'Ok, just wait a little longer' jack agreed

'At least until we find out what sookie and Jackson name the baby' Sam told him.

'Oh, who cares what they name it, it's just a TV show' Daniel smiled as he headed to the DVD player and removed the disk.

'Daniel!' the room yelled in disgust. It wasn't long before Daniel found he was being chased by his team mates.

'Daniel you come right back here with that disk' Vala ordered.

Sam laughed as he clearly ignored her.

Daniel had ran up and back down the passage, into the kitchen and now out the front steps, his gracefulness disappearing as he fell down the steps, another four body's accumulating on top of him.

'Ouch' he cursed...

SJSJSJSJSJ

The evening ended with Daniel and his recently broken ankle sitting on Sam's left while jack and his iced knee sat on the right.

The other four team mates were otherwise unhardened and relished the opportunity to watch more...

Sam figured this was going to be another agonizing five weeks. it was going to be fun.

watching grown men fight over a TV show...pricless


	5. Chapter 4 swapping beds

'Dinners almost ready' cam yelled from the kitchen,

'Yay' Sam toasted in mock excitement.

She was now sitting, still immobile but sitting at least. She dropped her hand beside her, before realizing it landed on jack's sore knee.

'Oops sorry jack' she grimaced

'What?' he asked

'I just hit your knee' she pointed

'Oh that's ok-oh I mean ooOohuch, yeah that hurt.' He complained.

'Jack?' Daniel leant forward from the other side of Sam.

'Daniel?' he replied in his usual sarcastic tone.

'You didn't really hurt your knee did you?' Daniel admonished.

'Umm no not exactly' he smiled nervously

'Not exactly' Sam shook her head

'Well... you're hurt...and daniels hurt... and theres a spare seat... and this way' he stumbled

'This way what jack?' Daniel pushed

'Well they were all waiting on you two hand and foot' jack smiled.

'And? Daniel whined

'And... Well it looked nice' jack smiled

'Oh, but were actually sick!' Sam whined.

'I know I know' jack sulked

'Shove over and make room' Daniel nudged.

'Yeah... make room for the sick' Sam agreed

'Okay okay' jack stood, shucking his blanket and decided to clear the coffee table of miscellaneous items.

'Jack?' cam asked from the kitchen

'Cam?' he asked condescendingly

'I thought you had a...bung knee' he pointed aimlessly with the tongs.

'I thought I did too' jack commented absent mindedly

Cam shook his head and returned to his coking. He'd learnt that when it came to jack O'Neill you don't ask questions.

SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1 SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1 SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1

'Dinners ready' cam called.

It seemed that only seconds later everyone had gathered around the table with the exception of Sam and Daniel, who sat comfortably on the lounge.

'O'Neill you knee seems to of healed' Teal'c commented

'O look magic' he commented aimlessly as he reached for a chicken leg.

Vala rolled her eyes and looked at Sam with a wide grin.

Sam was aware that there was more going on in vala's mind than she expressed but she chose to gracefully ignore it.

After dinner Sam decided to have an early night, Vala helped her shower as she had done for the past three weeks, only she kept giving her theses strange smiles.

As Sam climbed into bed Sam finally broke down and had to ask.

'Vala, what's this about?' Sam pointed to her own smile with her good arm.

'Nothing' Vala chimed happily.

'Nothing?'

'Absolutely nothing'

'Ok then' Sam decided to leave it for now.

SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1 SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1 SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1SG1

Meanwhile...

Daniel had been helped into bed and now sat, awaiting for jack to come in and turn the light off, but instead Vala bounced in merrily.

'Hello darling' she smiled

'What do you want?' he tried on his best imitation smile.

'Oh, nothing, I just don't like my new bed' she huffed as she climbed into jacks.

'And what's wrong with it?'

'I don't know... its too hard or soft or something' she mumbled as she rearranged the pillow

'Hang on... hard or soft or something...'

'Ok, ok, it was in sam's room' Vala admitted

'And?'

'And she snores or something'

'No she doesn't' Daniel countered

'Oh how would you know?'

'Vala I've been on missions for ten years, I've shared a tent with her on numerous occasions' he argued

'Oh it must be a recent thing then' she sighed

'You don't just start snoring Vala'

'Daniel,' she sat up 'I'm going to sleep now if you don't mind' she smiled before lying down.

He looked aimlessly around the room. 'Well you could've turned the light off he commented'

'oh Daniel your such a winger, I spent a week on a planet that didn't get dark at all once and let me tell you, you can't just get up and turn the light of there...'

'Vala?' jack questioned as he entered the room

'Yes?'

'You're in my bed'

'I know' she snuggled in a little more

'Why?'

'You can have mine' she smiled

'I don't want yours' he commented

'Well I can move over if you want darling' she lifted the blanket a little

'Vala I don't think...'

'My beds in sam's room,' she noted

'Ok well just tonight since you're so insistent' he retorted quickly as he turned to leave the room.

'Oh and jack?' she called

He poked his head back around the corner.

'Can you turn the light of please? It's annoying Daniel' she smiled

'Oh everything annoys Daniel' jack grinned as he switched the light off. He heard a small groan from Daniel as he walked along the passage.

Slowly entering the room Sam looked up from her book.

'Jack?' she questioned

'Sam?'

'What are you doing...?'

'Oh Vala stole my bed, so I'm now stealing hers' he explained

'Okay' she looked oddly at him before shaking her head and returning to her book.

'Watcha reading?' he questioned

'Umm just an old book, used to read it allot as a child' she answered as she tried aimlessly to turn the page with one hand.

'Oh give it here, and move over' jack smiled taking the book and sitting alongside her on the bed.

He began reading and after a while she seemed to drift off to sleep.

_A/N- hello darlings, im feeling a little left out... i want more reviews, my friend and i have a competition happening on how many reviews we can get. im loosing ;( since you my lovley fans are wondderful at hitting my books but not reviewing... this is where you guys come in... I WANT TO WIN!You can be apart of that if you just click that cute lil button below and get creative, whatever you got is fine, as long as I beat this girl. she kinda has a bighead, and who wants that? :) Ps. To my best friend StevieLUVSAlex... dont be mad, I just want to win. (hey Fanfic readers, she has a habit of using me as a boxing bag when she has a bad day, which lately has been ALL THE TIME, so side with me and post a review) _


	6. Chapter 5 pride and prejudice

A/N sorry it took me so long to update...I'll try to be more regular. But I hope you enjoy

'I can't believe you reading pride and prejudice' cam laughed as he entered the room; noting that jack was still on sam's bed, book in hand, her head on his shoulder.

'What?' jack jolted awake, earning a small moan from Sam, before she nestled back down to sleep again?

'Pride and prejudice, I hear thirteen year old girls really enjoy it' cam laughed

'Shut up' jack threw the book at cam who ducked behind the door

'So you slept with carter hey' cam chuckled.

'No!' jack frowned as he began yawning….

'I believe Vala MalDuran has taken up residence in Daniels Jackson's room as well' Teal'c commented dryly as he passed.

'Oh well the ladies in the cafeteria will have something to talk about now wont they' cam battered his eyes with a teasing tone.

'Oh wont they' jacks voice was thick with sarcasm

'C'mon were late sam's appointment is in 40 minutes' cam ushered them along.

In the car….

'Did not' Vala argued'

'Did too' Daniel laughed

'I did not'

'Did too'

'Did not!'

'Children children quiet now… what are you? Two school girls?' jack snapped

'Not unless he's attending the school of how not to treat a woman'

'Vala that's hardly fair' Daniel snapped folding his arms and looking out the window

'Kids!' jack snapped again.

Silence ensued, before cam spoke up. 'Talking about school girls, guess what I found O'Neill reading this morning?' cam teased

'I wasn't reading it' jack sighed

'Then why was it in your hand?' cam countered

'What was it?' Vala questioned exited at the idea of a possible guessing game.

'Pride and prejudice' cam answered

'Oh…I saw the movie...is the book more manly?'

'I do not believe so' Teal'c added 'it was on sale in the book store on mother's day'

'Oh…why was jack?' Vala pointed

'I wasn't' he defended himself

'he was reading to me' Sam commented from the furthest back seat'

'Yours?' Daniel asked

'Now why is it so unbelievable that its carters but you all believe that its mine?' jack sounded defensive

'No I just thought…she liked different types of books, that's all' Daniel mumbled

'Oh but I'd like a girl book?' jack retorted

'No its just Sam likes…' Daniel began

'Astro physics…' Teal'c commented

'She subscribes to science magazines, not romance R us, books' Vala concluded

'On the other hand…jack seems to read...whatever's lying around' cam added

'So that leaves us only yo conclude that jack was reading it'

'No, it really was mine' Sam admitted as they pulled in the carpark.

In the infirmary.

'Where'd everyone go? Cam asked as he entered the infirmary' noticing that Sam sat alone on the bed.

'Vala and Teal'c are visiting the cafeteria...daniels picking up some research and jacks getting me some books' sam explained

'Oh good, no more pride and prejudice' he laughed as he handed her, the coffee. 'Of course I bang into Siler and that oversized shifter of his and I told him…its hilarious he told me he caught jack reading beauty and the beast once.'

'It really was mine' Sam laughed

'No really?' cam still didn't really believe her 'what are you doing with a book like that…it's not your style'

'I have a style?' Sam questioned

'Yeah'

'And what is it'

'smart books with no pictures on the front cover but lots inside…and titles no one's ever heard of'

'Oh really?'

'Yep' cam nodded simply

'And I can't read anything out of that parameter?'

'Well I suppose you can I just wouldn't expect it…so why you reading it?' he questioned

'I like it'

'Really'

'No not really' she admitted'

'So spill' he took a sip of his coffee as he were waiting for some fantastic story

'It was the last book my mom bought me before she died…I start it every year '

'Oh….'

'It's a tradition I started…I helps me remember her I think.' Sam smiled fondly

'You know I'm taking you to visit my grandma tomorrow….what'da'ya think?' cam suggested

'Sounds great' she laughed

'And I'll try to stop teasing jack about it' he chuckled

'Sounds even better'

'What does?' jack asked as he entered the room

'although a little longer wouldn't hurt' she nudged cam'

'Oh goody' car rubbed his hand together playfully

'Oh-oh' jack looked worried.

A/N just wants to say thank you to all my reviewers

stevieLUVSAlex

laura sally

lovably17

TiaRat

elleelle

dp

Lt Colonel Sam Carter

babyred1995

mzmouze

Lady-Knight-Sam-Carter

SamKay61

And Oldlibrn

Who inspire me to continue?

And the people that have faverout'ed me

Cranbs

hguy13

kizzy45

laura sally

Lt Colonel Sam Carter

MarlowTI

And samylly

And those who have alerted me

babyred1995

Cazza31

chelle db

DeniseM

elleelle

HAZMOT

iwrite4fun

joolnik

Lady-Knight-Sam-Carter

laura sally

little-nana

Lt Colonel Sam Carter

neongreenpurple

Oldlibrn

SamKay61

samylly

And to my housemate and best friends

Stevie LuvsAlex

And lovably17

And a special thankyou to Lt Colonel Sam Carter who just makes me feel good with nice reviews all over.


	7. Chapter 6 Grandma Mae

_A/N ok so I got stuck on best season nine quotes, and got this great idea..Since most of them have to do with cam's grandma, so I thought it could be fun to play with the team meeting her..._

_So of to cams gran's front door._

'Ok ok, listen up... I brought you guys here, because I thought Sam could do with some of grandma's TLC... but i need you all to remember...she's religiouse, and i know none of us are...but can we p[lease refrain from telling her that' cam breifed them from the front step.

'Ok?' he questioned again...

He received nods from Sam, Daniel and teal'c but nothing from jack and vala

'Vala...jack... ok?'

'Ok ok, but it's not nice to lead people on' jack noted

'Vala?' cam questioned

'I'm not making any promises' she noted 'honesty is the best policy, that's what I always say'

'Oh that's rich coming from you' Daniel huffed

'Children' jack scolded

'Ok ok...I'll try...but you know catholocysim is probably a offshoot from the ori...if you want your grandmother worshiping them...then you go right ahead'

'Look vala cant you just try for one day to...' cam paused as the door opened behind him

'Cameron...darling... are you and your friends ever going to come inside? The old woman questioned

'Hello gran' he bent to kiss her cheek.

'Come in, come in...You're going to get sick in this cold air' she ushered them inside.

'Ok everyone this is my grandma Mae... Grandma Mae, this is everyone' cam waved to the crowd of people.

'Well can't I know what their names are... like Leviticus says... if you do not know their name, then you know not what to call them' grandma Mae smiled.

'Ok this is jack and vala...and daniel, and sam and teal'c.' Cam introduced them respectively.

'Make yourselves at home, I'm just going to get some macaroons out the oven, there squishy favorite' she smiled

'Squishy?' jack accused as soon as she left the room

'Does the bible really say that? Sam asked

'Squishy...that's soo cute' vala laughed

'What? Cam sounded defensive

'No I don't think so' Daniel answered Sam

'No maybe it does' jack added thoughtfully

'Seriously what's with that?' vala squished cams cheeks

'I was a fat kid' cam answered shyly

'I do not believe it does...' teal'c commented

'How do you know? Jack accused

'You were fat? Sam asked

'It's an important part of earth culture' teal'c noted

'Yep, I can see that...right little porker' vala laughed

'The whole thing?' Daniel questioned

'Twice' teal'c noted

'Aww little squishy' jack laughed

'And it said nothing about names?' Sam questioned

And I thought camshaft was bad...wait till the base hear about this' vala giggled

'I do not believe so' teal'c answered

'Ok ok so she's a little eccentric' cam huffed a little louder than the rest of the whispers in the room

'Ok darlings...' grandma Mae entered the room.

A/N ok so I know this is really stupid and short but I'm having fun. Stay tuned for part two of Grandma Mae's. And remember if you want more then I want reviews.


	8. Chapter 7 Grandma Mae Part 2

_A/N ok and here's for more grandma Mae… it's a crazy trip, and you don't need a car or even a ship…were talking stargate! Yeahp hope you're enjoying it._

'Wow, these really are great!' vala commented

'I told ya' cam smiled as he stuffed another macaroon into his mouth.

'Wow…I really didn't think…all these grandma Mae cooking…stories were true' jack mumbled in between chewing.

'Don't talk with your mouth full son' grandma Mae corrected him. 'Like the good book says….he who speaks with manna in mouth shall certainly choke and die…and he shall perish as the dirt on the ground' she smiled.

'Grandma mae?' vala asked

'Yes' grandma mae poured more tea into her cup

'I'm not particularly familiar with the earth bible…but I don't recall that being written' vala questioned

'Well child have you read the entire bible?' grandma Mae questioned

'Well no...But teal'c lent me his tapes and I'm almost finished psalms…number 119 seems to go for like two tapes though' vala pondered

'Well I'm glad you're reading it but…. I'm sure you can't council a woman that has read it all her life on what is and is not in the bible' she commented as she sipped her tea.

'Look ol…' vala began

'Vala!' Daniel poked her ribs with his elbow, receiving a thankful smile from cam.

A long silence fell upon the table…

'Yeahp these are the best macaroons I ever had' Daniel smiled as he reached for another one

'Indeed' teal'c nodded.

1 hour later in the lounge room…

'Vala what is that? Sam asked as she noticed the new group of pictures on her leg cast

'It's Daniel' she smiled simply

'It looks like a horse?' jack asked

'Mustang' she explained

'I thought it was Daniel…?' Sam questioned

'It is see I'm a panther…coz there pretty...and have great bod's...and jacks a lion coz he's a leader..Daniels a mustang... because he's hot...with great muscles and cams a pig…coz he's squishy.' She explained

'Oh' Sam nodded

'I'm a what?' cam accused

'Pig darling' she smiled

'I have the distinct feeling that you're not going to be living this down for a long time….porky...squishy' Daniel laughed

'Well that's just nasty coming from Mr. hot muscles guy' cam retorted

'You both have multiple similar features' teal'c nodded

'You know Daniel sarcasm does not become you' cam noted

'Do all things as you are doing them for the lord' Grandma Mae interjected

'Yes Daniel I'm sure god doesn't condone sarcasm' Sam agreed with a distinct tone of laughter in her voice.

'Well actually sarcasm is condoned in the bible' Grandma Mae added

'It is...are you sure?' jack questioned.

'Where?' teal'c asked.

'When Elijah taunted the Baal worshiper to light their bull on fire…he was very sarcastic' Grandma Mae explained

'Yes, he said their god was in the privy and they should call louder' teal'c recalled

'When was that part of the bible recorded? Vala asked

'1040-580 BC' grandma Mae answered

Vala thought it over for a moment 'oh...well that's what 3-ish thousand years ago…no ba'al was actually taking over zuppach...'

'Vala...shut up' Daniel nudged her.

'Oops, sorry' she grinned nervously before finishing her picture 'there' she squiggled a curly tail on cam

'All done squishy' she winked to him…

''never ever never...gonna live that down' jack laughed as he took another swig of his lemonade

''so grandma Mae...whats the story behind squishy?' sam questioned

'Oohh, yes I hope it's better than the cam shaft story' vala leaned in paying close attention….

_A/N ok ok so I'm a little review hoard. I have 16 alerters on this story...you know what that means? You alert a story because you want more right? So how's about I'm not going to update until all of you review._

_That's you_

_babyred1995 _

_Cazza31 _

_chelle db _

_DeniseM _

_elleelle _

_HAZMOT _

_iwrite4fun _

_joolnik_

_Lady-Knight-Sam-Carter_

_laura sally _

_little-nana _

_Lt Colonel Sam Carter _

_neongreenpurple _

_Oldlibrn _

_SamKay61 _

_Samylly_

_Hehe I'm evil!_

_Also those who faverouted me it would be great if all of you reviewed me as well_

_And anyone else is also welcome._

_Reviews: I want them all! Evil laugh_

_Remember you all want to hear about squishy don't you? Lol_

_Please?_


	9. Chapter 8 The secret

_A/N thanking my reviewers..._

_elleelle_

_samylly_

_lutenant colonel sam carter_

_neongreenpurple_

_lady-night-sam-carter_

_and laura sally_

_a special thankyou to my new allerters_

_mmkfire_

_if i may_

_and i burton 874_

_and the adorable lutenant colonel sam carter, for her bouncing at the idea of squishy._

_i hope i didnt miss anyone_

_and now for those of you who didnt review, im extremley dissapointed in you all._

_i understand some of you may have been unable and so i fogive freely._

_[glares at you with a slight smile]_

_i considered holding out on you all, but i could hardly punish those who did review. =D_

_so i do expect reviews on the next chapter. _

_if you dont mind...please..._

_ok so im not so good at this being firm buisness, but please, i really want more reviews._

_babyred1995 _

_Cazza31 _

_chelle db _

_DeniseM _

_HAZMOT _

_iwrite4fun _

_joolnik_

_little-nana _

_Oldlibrn _

_SamKay61 _

_and i appolagize in advanced for bad spelling and grammer in this chapter, my computer has recently had a new hard drive installed and microsoft office isnt installed yet. so im typing in word pad and i'm a terrible speller with n__o spell check sorry, but i'll do my best. =D_

'squishy was a name, i have had for cameron since he was about four years old' grandma mae began.

'no, no grandma mae please' cam begged.

'oh hush' she grinned

'please grandma mae, dont tell them...I'll ...I'll fix the barn door...' cam began begging.

'the one that you promised to fix last year?' she retorted.

'yes, yes I'll go and fix it now...please grandma mae'

'like the good word says, parents are issued the divine right to embarrass thy child.'

'are you sure it says that grandma mae?' vala questioned.

'I'm sure' she nodded

'no it dosen't' daniel argued.

'no..I'm sure it does, in ecclesiasties chapter 6'

'uhh ..no it dosent' jack stated.

'well somewhere it says something about a parent and a child' grandma mae noted, with the slightest hint of frustration.

'parents do not be irritating your child' teal'c corrected.

'c'mon grandma mae..just tell us' vala begged.

'well...'

'look grandma mae, im off to do the barn door' cam stood and walked slowly to the door

'okay, if that door is being fixed, i suppose i can hold a secret' grandma mae agreed.

'alright...can i have a hand teal'c its realy heavy' cam asked

'why dont you take all the young lads with you?' grandma mae suggested.

'better take jack too' vala giggled

'i dont need that much help' cam said

'many hands make light work' grandma mae smiled

'the bible says that' vala rolled her eyes to sam

'and besidees your young girlfriends and i could do with a little getting to know each other.

'i do not believe mitchel is dating either...' teal'c began

'it's a just a saying' daniel explained

'oh and dont leave vala out,but...' jack winked before stumbeling to a halt, and leaving the room.

'the tau'ri have many strange sayings' teal'c thought aloud before leaving the room.

'what?' sam looked at the confused look on valas face.

'did jack just call me old?' vala questioned

'you just called him old' sam retorted

'yeah..but he is' vala noted

'do you realize that your like two years older than him?' sam informed her

'i dont look it do i?' vala worried.

'mmm?' sam concidered it

before vala left running to the mirror, to check her image.

'vanity, is a striving after the wind' grandma mae noted

'king solomon?' sam asked

'yes' grandma mae looked pleased.

'soo, grandma mae...whats the story behind squishy?' sam asked

'no, i gave cameron my word' grandma mae smiled

'c'mon grandma mae' sam shifted on the chair, as she rearanged her plasterd leg. 'i have the feeling that you arnt as sweet and innocent as you pretend. are you?' sam questioned

'I'm sure i don't know what you mean child' grandma mae fiddled with her shawl

'i noticed you had a nearly empty bottle of johnny walker in your kitchen cupboard...'

'yes?' grandma mae leaned in paying extera attention.

'how's about you tell me the story, and when I get home I'll send you a couple bottles of johnny walker blue label' sam raised her eyebrows in chalange

grandma mae considered it for a moment 'I suppose thats a fair deal' grandma mae smiled.

'ok, it was when cam was about three and a half when he first began having regular visits to my house every weekend...in the mornings...

S1SG1Sg1SG1SG1

_hours later_

'c'mon cam, get in the car, were never gonna get home before dark at this rate' jack complined

'goodbye grandma mae...look after yourself, I'll be up next month.' cam huged her before hoping in the car

'ok, love you squishy..and drive safe...' she smiled

'it was great to meet you grandma mae' sam smiled

'you too' grandma mae winked at her

'am i missing something here?' cam asked

'ask no questions and be told no lies' grandma mae grinned.

'ok bye' cam laughed as he began driving down the long drive way.

'well I kinda like grandma mae allot' daniel smiled

'i like her macaroons allot' jack smiled as he pulled one out of his pocket

'indeed' teal'c also produced one out of thin air

sam followed in suit before smiling evily at daniel as he produced yet another one from his pocket and handed it to a sulking vala.

'dont want it' she whined

'whats wrong? he questioned...

'hey..isn't there a no eating in my car rule? cam questioned angrily.

'c'mon cam you cant introduce us to grandma mae's macaroons and expect us not to eat them' jack complained

'i believe ValaMalDuran is greaving for something' teal'c noted

'yeah...grandma mae's macaroons' jack laughed as he swallowed his last mouthfull.

'well, i thought it was a delightfully tasty day' daniel grinned

'i thought it was a verry informational' sam giggled

cam immediatly looked at her is the review mirror, but dismissed her comment by her casual attitude.

'i have wrinkles...I'm old' vala whined

'oh...honey, I'm sorry...your still buetifull.' daniel crooned with compassion

'and this is something new?' jack retorted.

vala began crying as sam raised her voice over the noise.

'can we stop in and get some alcahol on the way home?' sam questioned

'you'r not allowed to drink with those pain killers' jack reminded her

'it's not for me..Its a pressant for a friend' she smiled

'no problemb sam' cam smiled

'what do you want? i'll runin and get it for ya' jack asked

'just two bottles of johnny walker'

'red label?' jack asked

'blue' she replied

'oh, damn it' cam cursed

'what?' jack looked at him

'oh i was suppost to get grandma mae one...it's her faveroute...oh, well I'll get it next visit.

'I'm sure she'll get by without it untill then' sam agreed seariously.

_A/N sorry, i didn't divoulge the secret of grandma mae's squishy story, but i got side tracked with this slightly better idea... hope your enjoying it though...and remember i want reviews before i post more..and again sorry for the spelling, once i get office installed i'll edit it and re-post. =D _


	10. Chapter 9 The secret part 2

_A/N sorry I haven't uploaded in so long, I've been really busy, and my cat was sick... :[_

_She has a heart murmur...but she's going to be ok, so 'm back to writing. _

**Chapter 9 the secret part 2**

'Ahh, well that was great jack' cam leant back in his chair and slapped his stomach.

Daniel snorted before turning it into some sort of cough.

'Well, ok then...' jack commented dryly before moving on 'so who wants dessert?

Everyone nodded eagerly,

"DONT SPILL' Daniel read of the serviette that Daniel shoved in his lap.

'I won't' he mouthed.

'I'll help' cam offered eagerly as he followed jack into the kitchen.

Teal'c looked between the meaningful glares that Daniel and Vala were sharing, and thought for a moment before speaking.

'I believe the two of you are conspiring.' He stated

'No were not' Vala instantly sat straighter...and then proceeded to flash him a smile.

'DanielJackson?' Teal'c questioned

Oh, oh um it's nothing...' Daniel mimicked Vala's fake smile

Teal'c returned his gaze to Vala

'What?' she questioned innocently

Teal'c remained silent and stared unrelentingly.

'It's a trick, don't let him break you Daniel' Vala whispered through persed lips

'u-huh- Daniel laughed as he watched her squirm in her seat

'It's a Jaffa thing; they can make you d things' she added

'Right' Daniel smiled

'Ok ok, Teal'c but you can't tell anyone ok!' she leant forward

'I believe I can conceal the truth' Teal'c agreed

'It's keep a secret' Daniel corrected

Teal'c just stared before returning his look to Vala.

'Ok so you know squishy?' she clarified

'Colonel Mitchell's domesticated animal name.' He agreed

Daniel thought about yelling 'pet name' but decided to jus t go with rolling his eyes instead

'Ok, well Sam bribed Grandma Mae, when I was out of the room, but I heard the whole thing...' Vala began

'Yes' Teal'c was paying more than the usual attention

'Ok so granny Mae ...'

_Meanwhile in the kitchen_

'Pity Sam had to stay in the infirmary for the night' cam commented as e dried some dished

'Jack just glanced sideways as he put the next plate in the dish rack.

'Oh well I guess you be lonely tonight 'cam continued

'Are you trying to hint at something?' jack noted sarcastically

'Just that when Vala stole your bed, you didn't kick up to much of a fuss' cam smiled

'Yeah well carter doesn't snore and Daniel does'

'Why do you do that?' cam questioned

'Do what?'

'Call her carter...you know we don't use ranks at home' cam said

'Just habit I suppose

'u-huh, it's not because you're trying to distance yourself'

'I don't know what you're talking about' jack huffed

'Oh, c'mon jack you know exactly what I'm trying to say' cam accused

'Maybe you should just say it and get it over with' jack slammed the next plate in the dish rack

'Why so you can refute it? Look I'm just say...'

They were interrupted by Teal'c's loud bellowing laughter.

They looked back towards the dining room.

'Go check that out will ya' jack ordered

And cam obeyed.

'Hey what's so funny? He asked as he entered the room...

'Uh...uh, i was just telling a joke about a chicken and a road' vala stumbled...

Daniel was still in hysterics.

'What and Daniel hadn't heard it either?' cam sounded sceptical

'Nope' Vala grinned

'I don't believe it...c'mon, the truth' cam looked serious

'That it, cam...just i havnt herd teal'c laugh like that since he told that jaffa joke' Daniel explained

'Right...' cam still thought something was suss

'Cake anyone?' jack offered as he came in behind cam

'Oh yes thank you' Vala eagerly filled her mouth before she was asked any more questions.

Daniel and Teal'c followed in kind.

A/N short and sweet: D hope you guys enjoyed it, you know what to do if you did...review...thanks. Xox


	11. Chapter 10 The Secret part 3

A/N ok so I hope you like this, I decided not to tell you the story until the last chapter...evil am I. Lol

The secret part 3

Sam stood in the queue at the post office, cam standing close behind her, holding the bottles in his hands.

She had tried to get Daniel to come along, but cam insisted that he had to post something anyway. It was easier to move around these days, her arm was healing, and the crutches were ok once you got the hang of them.

Finally Sam reached the counter, and handed the desk clerk her bottles, cam hung back a little after he had handed the goods over. And Sam filled out the form, and address, and then as a voice boomed in her ear she jumped 10ft high.

'Grandma Mae!' cam realized 'she told you didn't she!'

'What?' Sam tried pretending that she was ignorant.

'Don't play dumb with me carter...you bribed her didn't you!' he accused

'I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about' she shrugged as she pushed the package across the desk, smiling courteously and then began toward the car.

'I can't believe you, your evil you know'

'Oh c'mon cam it's not even that bad!' Sam giggled as she made her way to the car.

'Sam, it's about trust' he retorted

'Shut up...squishy' she smiled

With a huff cam walked silently past her and climbed in his side

'Fine I'll get the door myself then' she stated sarcastically.

After struggling into the car she huffed annoyingly.

'Wow somebody's annoyed' Vala complained

'Yeah...that happens when your friends go behind your back' cam retorted.

Daniel immediately caught on and rolled his eyes 'aren't you being a little dramatic cam?'

'Oh, no I'm telling you she bribed my grandma,' cam argued

'It wasn't like that' Sam retorted

'She told you about squishy, I fixed her barn door'

'You told him about the priest story' Vala interrupted

'What! And you told Vala!' cam sounded annoyed

'No...Vala what? You knew?' Sam sounded genuinely shocked.

Vala looked guilty before pointing at Sam 'she can be very persuasive...you know, I think her words were' I have the feeling that you aren't as sweet and innocent as you pretend. Are you?' Vala raised her eyebrows in mock disgust.

'She was very taking advantage of an old lady' cam agreed

'I was not!' Sam looked angrily at Vala, who looked innocently back

'The rendering of the story that I heard was that grandmother Mae was eager to share' Teal'c confirmed

'Yes she was...and where did you all hear this story from? Sam looked accusing at Vala

'What, I can't help what I hear' she defended herself

'Oh but I'm sure you can help standing behind a door for ten minutes' Daniel noted

'Daniel! I'm never telling you anything again' Vala pouted

'Yes you will'

'No I won't

'I believe Vala MalDuran finds it almost impossible to conceal a piece of information, I have no reason to fear a promise of silence' Teal'c added

'Shut up' Vala slapped his arm, Teal'c didn't flinch but Vala was left holding her stinging hand

'Cam shook his head 'I can't believe it' he muttered again

'Oh c'mon I'm sorry; now get home before jack burns dinner.'

'You can burn salad?' Daniel added

'Jack can' Sam smiled

'You can't, it's impossible' Vala argued

'I believe they are not speaking literally however the implication is that colonel O'Neill, ruins all food he attempts to cook' Teal'c explained

'Unless it's cooked with beer' Daniel explained

'Oh...that's a bit like cam' Sam giggled' as she received a glare from him 'oh c'mon cam...how long are you going to be grumpy with me'

'Until I get my own back' he grumbled

'Oh no I'm soo scared' Sam teased

'Oh yes be afraid very afraid' he retorted, as he pulled out of the parking lot.

A/N just wanting to thank lovably17 for the next few chapters, revenge is sweet, and it's all her idea! Please review!


	12. Chapter 11 how did sam get hurt?

_A/N ok and for the beginning of the tormenting. Hope you enjoy. :D with special thanks to lovably 17 again, and Ltcolonelsamcarter._

It was late, when cam began; he had been seething over the whole grandma Mae thing for a day or so now.

'So, jack, do you want to hear the story...the real one?' cam offered

And the room, went silent, arguments over the latest TV show, were silenced.

'What do you mean?' jack questioned

'The real story, about how Sam hurt herself' cam explained

Sam spluttered on her drink, before coughing out. 'Cam no'

'Sam...Yes' he retorted

'Cam you promised' Sam argued

'Let's call it pay back shall we?'

'Cam do I have to make that an order?' Sam challenged

'Since the two of you are of equal ranking, I do not believe that you can order Colonel Mitchell to do anything, SamanthaCarter' Teal'c interrupted.

'Cam!' Sam stood shakily on her good leg and attempted crossing the room

'Grandma Mae Sam!'

'Cam!' she tripped on Daniels leg, and came crashing magnificently down, landing half on Daniel and half on jack.

'Oh, look clumsy when she's angry, the story of your life isn't it Sam' he smiled smugly

'Cam shut up' she whined from her new place on the ground

'What story?' jack complained

'The one about how Sam really hurt herself'

'Cam!' she let out one last warning tone

'Sam, listen you bribed Grandma Mae, for possibly the most embarrassing information in my life, and now I want to embarrass you'

'What's all this stuff about Grandma Mae?' jack shouted in frustration

'Sam chucked a wobbly and slipped, it wasn't any accident' cam blurted

'What?' Daniel laughed

'Yeah that right, it was because she was too busy going over in her head what to say to me, that's why'

'Cam!' she scolded

'You were angry!' Daniel laughed

'Yes Daniel yes I was angry' Sam snapped as she tried to turn over.

'Yes you were, because I said you 'couldn't play with those readings.'

'you made a promise!' she threw, the first thing she could find, quiet skilfully at cam's face'

The tissue box hit him hard, and yet he continued 'yes, she chucked a fruity, because she wanted to look at those things she found, and I said no, so she picked up her back pack and stormed off, I was part way through apologising, when she turned and glared at me, and then, as she turned to keep walking in a huff might I add, she tripped, slipped and fell' he explained

'How come didn't we notice?'

'Oh you were too busy trying to rebuff the eyes Vala was making at you' cam answered

'Well Teal'c was there' Daniel whined

'I Infact was aware of the situation, I just saw no need to embarrass Samantha, any further' Teal'c commented

'No she does a good enough job of that herself' jack laughed as he poked at her teasingly.

'Sam slapped his hand away and spoke sharply. 'You just wait Cameron Mitchell...I'm going to get you for this!'

They were supposed to be leaving today, I'm all better now, and I don't need babying...or teasing' sam muttered as she stirred the cake mix

'You realize I'm part of them' jack exclaimed

'You're not so bad' Sam apologized

'Well thanks' jack mockingly sounded offended.

'sorry, no I like having you here, our great, I mean you don't tease me too much, and you read to me every night, I like that...but I'm getting sick of them, it's just too much, I just want some peace and quiet you know' Sam explained

'You're just upset about cam teasing you so much'

'And Vala...and Teal'c...you know it's all of them'

'Except me' jack complained again

'Yes I said your fine'

'What's wrong with Daniel?' jack questioned

'Ok Daniels ok...no i mean hes been teasing me, but thats just friendly banter...but cam, hes getting on my nerves, and vala, just she always has to be the centre of attention, and teal'c with his...smugginess'

'Smugginess?

'Yes smudginess, it's so annoying!' Sam complained.

'So cams upset you and you need some revenge?' jack summarised

'Yes ok that's it' Sam sighed

Jack stood and walked over to her 'so let's play dirty'

'Like?' Sam looked intrigued

Chocolate cake...you know how it tastes when you dump a half a box of bi-crab into it?' jack laughed

'How?' Sam asked

'Like a really big, really salty, disgusting pretzel'

'Interesting trivia'

'And who asked for cake?'

'Cam...ooh I like where this is going' Sam giggled.

_A/N ideas from a certain link SA driver and lovably17's mom, oh and the cake I made last week in the next chapter war will be declared. Hope you review. :D_


	13. Chapter 12 Declairing War

A/N sorry it's been a while I'm part way through moving ATM, it takes a while sorry, but I'm back with a vengeance. Lol I hope you enjoy.

'Mm that smells great!' cam grinned as he entered the house.

'Wow who's been cooking?' Vala added.

'I have!' Sam smiled brightly

'Well it smells great!' cam commended her.

'It's almost ready, I'll go cut you guys some' she suggested

Three eager thankyou's were mumbled and a pleasurable nod from Teal'c.

The team mates arranged their selves around the table, and moments later Sam arrived with a stack of small plates a cutting knife and a plate in hand.

She began cutting, when Daniel spoke up. 'How was your day Sam?'

'Very productive thank you, I did some washing, and I cleaned out some of my desk and baked this.' She replied.

It was about now that Daniel began getting suspicious. Maybe it was the anthropologist in him, but he'd noticed a few little things were off.

Maybe it was the way she twitched when she said, this. Or the way she scratched the back of her neck nervously when she went to get the cake. Or the fact that with four plates she obviously wasn't having any, or the most troubling, there was cake and jack wasn't in the room.

Sam passed the plates and Daniel excused himself, as he decided on finding jack.

'Thankyou Sam' Vala grinned pleasantly.

Sam was careful to hide the almost apologetic smile on her face as she passed the cake, but then again Vala had been teasing her too, so oh well.

Cam of course being the most eager, gulped down almost half his slice of cake in a single mouthful, he was closely matched by Vala, before he coughed, chewed cautiously and swallowed the lump down. Vala lacking table skills simply sp at hers out.

'Yuk!' the both complained in unison

'This is indeed quiet unsatisfactory 'Teal'c complained, although he had eaten like some sort of domesticated person and had only taken a small bite.

'Sam this is gross' cam complained as he poked the lump

'Drink drinks drink?' Vala was waving her hands unable to disguise the fowl taste with her water.

Sam smiled as cams face was still screwed up.

Oh sorry, what's wrong?' she questioned innocently

'It's burnt' cam huffed

'No it's salty' Vala complained

By now jack and Daniel had joined the table.

'It tastes like fish jerky if that's possible' cam mumbled

'What?' Sam giggled

'I don't know, it's just really gross' cam complained

Try it Daniel' Vala pushed her plate to him

'No thanks' he pushed it back.

'It's like pizza went wrong' cam added

'No its like got bad milk in I maybe, did you leave the milk on the bench again?' Vala asked

'No!' cam retorted

'Are you sure it was chocolate?' cam questioned

'YES!' Sam pretended to be offended

'I can't work out what it tastes like' Vala added

'It tastes like a pretzel' Teal'c informed her

'That's what I said!' jack agreed

'You didn't have any jack' cam noted instantly

Oh...umm' he wriggled in his seat, silently scolding himself for the outburst. 'Yeah no I did, I picked some of the plate here' he pointed to the one that Daniel and Vala had shoved away; it was conveniently, in front of him.

'No you didn't' cam scolded

'Well how did he know what it tastes like then cam' Vala noted

Sam was visibly uncomfortable.

'Because he's had it before... Sam this cake was no accident was it/' he looked at her seriously.

'Oh well I was so angry today, and you know how I get all clumsy when I'm angry' she smiled

'Oh...oh carter, you're in for it.' Cam spat as he pushed the cake away in disgust.

SGSGSGSGSGGSGSGSGSGGSSGSGGS

Cam snuck past the bedrooms; he hoped they were all asleep by now. He got closer to Sam's bathroom with each step.

He heard the rumble of jack's voice reading, and he peeked through the crack of the door, they seemed to be getting progressively more comfortable. He thought as he wiped past the door.

Quietly he snuck in and found her shampoo, and squeezed the liquid in his hand into the bottle, a quick shake and he left a stealthily as he entered.

SGSGSGSGSGSGGSGSGSGSGGSGS

Sam bounced around at her bathroom door.

'C'mon Daniel, this is why I hate sharing' Sam complained through the door

'Just a minute' Daniel whined

'And you thought Vala took forever' Sam winged

'Well she's still in the other bathroom isn't she?' he noted

'Yeah, hurry up I'm going to pee myself' Sam bounced

Ok ok I'm coming' Daniel huffed as he washed the soap suds from his hair, quickly he wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door.

Sam was crouched down with a look of pain on her face, and then she looked at him and it turned into pure laughter.

'What?' Daniel asked, silently blushing, for fear he'd been too immodest with the towel.

Sam poked at his head, and smiled even wider, she then licked her finger and twisted a bit of his hair through it.

'Eww, gross Sam' Daniel whined

This only elicited a giggle from her.

'Sam?' Daniel looked concerned now

'Gotta pee' she ran in the bathroom, slamming the door.

Part way through relieving herself, she heard a very feminine scream.

'No, no, no, how? No!' Daniels voice echoed through the door.

Sam quickly washed her hands and went back into the room; she looked in the mirror from behind Daniel, slightly bemused as he tried rearranging his hair, hoping that would fix it.

'Ha! Gotcha cart...' cam paused as he rounded the corner, to see Daniel instead of Sam had fallen prey to his evil game.

'Cam!' Daniel looked worried.

'Opps...what were you doing using carters shower?' cam honestly sounded both concerned and remorcefull.

'No, no, huh?' Daniel spared cam a glance. 'You realize I have a meeting with the president tomorrow morning right?' Daniel scolded him.

'Like I said opps' cam shrugged apologetically.

Vala jack and Teal'c had now entered the room, both jack and Vala laughed hysterically.

'Wow, I love it' Vala bounced to his side and poked the hair

'It'sa, it'sa, nice, colour' jack mumbled

'Yeah, I really think it suits you' cam laughed.

'Cam, I have to go and see the president and brief him and an array of other world leaders tomorrow morning, with PINK HAIR! that is not laughable it is not ok, it's a disaster' Daniel stressed.

'Sorry' cam tried to contain his laughter 'but I didn't mean it for you' he tried to calm Daniel down.

'Cam, I am supposed to be accompanying him tomorrow' Sam snapped.

'Yeah, I know' he grinned.

'Right, this is war, you just died my... no war, and I tell you' Daniel stormed out of the room.

'Victory at all costs?' cam laughed again

'I'll give you victory at all costs' Sam pushed past him.

'Saam!' cam whined.

'You've gone and done it now' jack scolded him as he followed his other two team mates.

'Well Vala, you going to go side with Danny?' cam asked

'Muscles are you going to pick a side?' she asked curiously

'I believe DanielJackson looks quiet amusing with pink hair, I like where I am' Teal'c offered

'Then that's it Cameron, muscles and I are with you' she summarised

'Not with lover boy?' cam asked a little shocked

'Oh you know all that passion will be good for something later.' Vala smiled

'Oh yes, all is fair in love and war' cam sighed

'Oh don't think I have any preconceived schoolgirl concepts of fair play' Vala grinned evilly

'Nor I' Teal'c noted

'Well I'm glad to hear it...especially you Teal'c id are worried if you had schoolgirl concepts' cam teased.

Vala laughed before silencing herself under Tealc's firm glare.

'Ok, off to war peoples...and Teal'c ' Cam smiled brightly.

Oh this was going to be fun!

A/N I hope you enjoy it, if anyone has any ideas for future chapters just inbox me. :D


	14. Chapter 13 Finally

Sorry it's been so long since I updated my life has been rather hectic, and I've hardly been on Fanfic in six months, however I am back and will be writing much more. I've been going to write more to this story, but honestly I think I'd just ruin it, however if anyone would like to write some following chapters to it, I would love to read them!

Also I now have my own blog page

tootapanga.

blogspot

with the .com/ at the end, cant post liks here however there is one on my profile.

go check it out, I haven'tgot any subscribers yet, so feel welcome to subscribe, it's not creepy lol. Anyway I'm going through all my stories to finish them so I can start posting my newbies. :D enjoy


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